Month: February 2016
hEY
Hey, Tribelet of Mini-Women!
Have I mentioned lately that I’m crazy about all of you? I am. You rock my world all the time, I think you feel the same way about each other. You show that every time you comment that you’re praying for each other, or you help somebody out like you did this week when ABI wasn’t sure what “influence” meant. You are CFFs (Close Friends Forever) in God. It doesn’t get much better than that.
Sometimes friendships don’t work out that well. Take this week’s question, for example. What do you do if a friend is a bad influence on you, as in ASHER’s drawing above (isn’t she great?) Several of you said you’ve had that happen:
ASHLYN says that sums up her whole junior high experience, but especially with on BFF who doesn’t share her faith and curses and scoffs (good word) when Ashlyn mentions Jesus. She could just walk away from this friend and stick with her other CFFs, but she’s really sensitive and might be hurt.
ASHER shares that her bad-influence friend drained her and wouldn’t listen when she tried to talk about about the struggles she was having.
GRACE really feels bad because she and her BFF exclude her sister when the BFF is over, which she never does when she’s with anybody else — sis is always included. Her mom brought it to her attention …
What do you do about that?
1. ASHER says she discussed it with her mom, and they decided it would be better for her to focus on other friends, but still be nice to that friend who brought her down. I totally agree. You don’t have hang out with people who make you unhappy, but you don’t have to deliberately make THEM unhappy by refusing to talk to them ever, or dissing them to everybody else, being hateful in general.
2. But what if that friend you feel like you have to give up is going to be super hurt, as in ASHLYN’s case? I think the video I’m about to link you to will help you there. You’ll need to have what Tribelet Elder Sarah and I call a “sit-down”, where you get serious with that person and explain exactly why you can’t be as close as you used to be. It might help to have a grown-up with you in case you find yourself floundering. Again, no need to be all, “I think you’re heinous and I don’t want to be your friend anymore.” If you’re kind, you could find that the person will see where she’s
gone wrong and actually change. Maybe.
3. How about if YOU are the one who’s messing things up? GRACE says she always includes her sister when her friends are around, except for that one BFF who influences her to treat sis like an outsider. The friend is the influence, but Grace is letting her sway her, and she’s responsible for her own behavior. Time for a sit-down with BFF, and since she IS a good friend it will be easy to come to an agreement — a pact not to make little sister feel left out. If BFF wants some time alone with Grace, they can plan things to do at HER house. It also sounds like Mom is on it, so she’s a good person to go to for advice — even if you don’t always like what you hear.
Many times the whole “bad influence” thing happens when your friends get to do and have things that you don’t. Have you ever been at a girl’s house and she turns on a movie you aren’t allowed to watch? AWK-ward. Seems like it would be easier to just sit through it and hope your parents don’t find out. Easier … but wrong.
In this week’s video, Tribelet Elder Sarah and I talk about that. So just click here and get some advice from someone who has SO been there.
If you want to make a comment this week (and Elder Melle showed me why some of your comments weren’t showing up, so everybody should be good to go), you can do two things:
(1) Tell us whether the thoughts in this post or the advice in the video helped you with the bad influence issue AND
(2) We’re about to get into :”Putting Together the Boy Puzzle” , so tell us everything that bothers you, confuses you, or makes you want to explode about those absurd little male creatures. They’re there — no getting around that — and there IS a Christian mini-woman way to deal with them — and even like them! See you next week!
Blessings, Nancy Rue
Wednesday On Thursday!
Helloooo Tribelet of Mini-Women! Wednesday With Nancy is going to happen on Thursday this week — so just pretend tomorrow is today … or something .
Meanwhile — and don’t faint when you read this — I have sent out posters and buttons to all the Tribelet members I have mailing addresses for. I know, right?
* I’ve emailed these mini-women to have their moms or dads send me their addresses: ASHER, THIRZAH, KEILAH, MEGGIEBEAR, KAYLEE and WENDY. I’ve heard from some. You’ll each receive a packet when I hear from your moms/dads.
* I need for these mini-women to email ME at nnrue@att.net because I don’t have your email addresses. Or just go ahead and ask your moms or dads to send me your mailing address from THEIR email account: MARYBETH, ABI, GRACE, ASHLYN, EM and SOFIA.
I’ll see you ALL right here tomorrow.
Blessings,
Nancy Rue
Behind-Your-Back Help
Helloooo, Tribelet of Mini-Women! Welcome back to Wednesdays with Nancy (which used to be known as Tween You and Me)
I usually give the advice around here, but when I asked for YOURS, I was SO impressed with your answers I’ve decided to do that more often.
Last week I invited you to help each other with the problem of other people talking about you behind your back. Here are the AWESOME tips you came up with:
ASHLYN: get some good CFF’s to talk it out to, and realize the friends who stick by you and understand you are the true friends, not the ones that use you and gossip about you. 😉
HALLE BELLE: My advice for my Tribelet would be writing in a TTGJ. (Talking To God Journal.) It helps me sort out all my thoughts. I can talk to God about what bothers me. I can also pray for those gossiping, and to help me to express the Fruits of the Spirit in all I do. In a TTGJ, you can share anything with God!
EVE: I think you can go to Mom, they always help!
GRACE: I think you should
1~ try to talk nicely about THEM, it might make you feel better
2~ sometimes when I’m just reading in my books in my room, I like to just say how I’m feeling to God.
ASHER: I love making lists, just like Lucy in Miss Nancy’s series. So my advice would be to make two lists – one list of things that make YOU special, even if people judge you for them. The next would be to make one about things you like about whoever gossips about you. I find that doing that helps you see the good in them even though they obviously aren’t nice to you
MEGGIEBEAR: It is really hard but my advice is don’t push in. Of they ignore you that is there problem. Just find something else to do. If they are ignoring you there is no problem with doing something else.
I learned some things from that myself!
Now let’s finish up our “everything you need to know when people talk bad about you” manual with a video from Tribelet Elder Paige and me. just click here!
If you still have questions about how to handle trash talk just let us know in a comment. Meanwhile let’s move on to the next question on YOUR list (HALLE BELLE, I’ve added yours)
What if a friend is a bad influence on you? If you’ve had any experience with that, will you share in a comment? Don’t answer the question yet. Let’s just get the problem out on the table so we can take a serious look at it.
Until next Wednesday!
Blessings, Nancy Rue