Hi girls! Hannah here. We’re cruising right through our Friendship Flubs Series, and I’ve loved your responses. This week?
Yes, that’s right, cloning! But not creepy science lab stuff where they try to make exact copies of human beings. (Think: another person just like your little brother – freaky, huh?) This time when we say cloning we’re talking about us trying to force our friends to be just like us, and dealing with it when they try to clone US.
WHAT IT IS: I don’t think any of us would actually say, “I want you to be just like me, please.”
But we act that way sometimes.
When your friends like a food you hate, and you curl up your lip. When they want to see another princess movie, and you tell them they’re acting like little kids. Or when they want to try a new sport, and you say, “Why would you want to do that? They have practices on the same night that we always hang out!”
We want them to be like us. Like the same food, same movies, same activities. It’s annoying when somebody constantly copies US, so why wouldn’t it be totally irritating to THEM we do it?
WHAT HAPPENS BECAUSE OF IT: This creates a TON of friction! Two people being exactly the same is crazy talk! And your friendship will start to feel more suffocating than fun and uplifting. Besides, it doesn’t leave room for you to be supportive friends and cheer one another on. How sad.
And we all know life can’t work like that, right? Paul in the Bible knew that too. He’s got a whole paragraph about us Christians (1 Corinthians 12) and how different we are, and how our differences join together to make one amazing body of Christ.
How boring would church be if every single person was a preacher? Or every single person sang a solo every week? Every single person volunteered at the soup kitchen? Okay, wait … that one might be good but still. You get my point. We can’t all be the same. God doesn’t want us to be clones when we’re serving Him, so we definitely shouldn’t have to be the same with our friends either.
Differences can annoy us, I know. I’m naturally a little quieter, so if I come across a chatty person, I can start to get a headache. But we need chatty people in the world. If everyone was quiet like me, nothing would get said. We have to have variety.
Besides, clones are creepy.
HOW TO FIX THE FLUB: So what do we do when a friend is different than us, and that difference is getting on our nerves?
- First we pray. We always pray first. We ask God to show us WHY this bugs us so much, and we say, “God please calm me down because I know You don’t want me grumpy like this.”
- Then we give things another try. We remind ourselves that a sandwich needs peanut butter AND jelly, and so we need to give our friends space to be different. We’re allowed to like a quiet hour playing the piano and they’re allowed to like a rough and tumble hour of rock climbing.
- And third, remind yourself that it’s OKAY to have more than one friend. This isn’t like a stomping-away tantrum: “Then fine! Guess I’ll find someone else to be my friend!” This is just a friendly reminder from me that not everyone can be the same, and it’s okay to make a friend in your theater class if your best friend decided not to try out this year. More friends are great.
I know you mini-women are a bunch of sweethearts and you probably aren’t mean when your friend wants to try something different that doesn’t interest you at all. But this post is just a reminder to stay that way as you get older, and to not freak out and think your friendship is drifting apart. It’s not. And you could be your friend’s biggest cheerleader on the sidelines. You’re two different people, and that’s more than great – that’s what God wants.
IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO GOD: In your Talking to God journals this week, ask God if you have any cloning issues. Own those times when you’ve made a friend feel bad for wanting to try something fun or new, and ask God to help you be more understanding next time. And if you have a friend who wants to be your clone, talk to God about what to say to her – in love..
IF YOU WANT TO MAKE A COMMENT: Chat with me below! Have you ever pressured your friend to be more like you, or have you ever felt pressured yourself? Where did you go from there?
PS – Don’t forget to send your submissions to Nancy if you haven’t already for Mini-Makers April/May. She needs them by Friday, May 19. Click here for more info.