Why Boys Become ALCs … and a New CHallenge For You

boy bully caricatureHello, Tribelet! Instead of Wednesday Afternoons With Nancy, we’re doing a Thursday Afternoon this week. Thanks for joining our Tribelet Meeting, whenever it happens! I’m so glad you liked last week’s video (there will be another one next week) on boys who bully. It definitely got you talking! Your questions were awesome:

* “Boys can be very hard to be around, while some are not. Why is that?

* Why do boys have to low ride and cuss? (“Low ride” is a new verb for me, and it makes perfect sense. Why DO they wear their pants down around their knees? Seriously?)

*  “We had fun experiences until he became an ALC (absurd little creep). Why do they just change all of a sudden?” 

Those are the same questions that are coming up on the Tween You and Me blog, and we’re going to answer all those and other boy-related issues there in just a few weeks (as soon as we finish our current series). I will let you know the minute that starts, in case you aren’t in that community too (and why not?)

Meanwhile, it seems to me that you are already learning what to do in bullying situations. You’re learning when to ignore, as KAYLEE said about the low-ridin’ britches (really, do they not know their pants size?) You know when to get help, as HALLE BELLE did with the guy at church who was looking for a fight (what a place to look for it, right?) You’re getting the hang of it. 

So much so that you’re beginning to express yourselves in creative ways. I’m going to share with you a story our SARA wrote, inspired by the Mean Girl Makeover trilogy. When you read it — well, you’re going to be VERY impressed. THEN, if YOU would like to send me a creative piece of writing or an original drawing that expresses what you’ve learned or experienced about bullying, you can do that, simply by attaching it to an email to me.

And now, our very gifted SARA:

“The Bullied Girl”Sara

I stood there, mouth hanging wide open. I had never heard such heinous words in my life!
I had been standing on a toilet seat in the girls bathroom for the last half hour. I had gone in there for the usual reason, but then when I was done, and about to open the door, I heard familiar voices coming in. I jumped up on the toilet seat because I knew who the main voice belonged to. It was Courtney Callaway; The meanest girl in the whole world of my middle school life.
Courtney was as sweet as a lollipop to the teachers and people that she had to respect in order to get what she wanted, but whenever she found her new target, you knew you were going to have a miserable few months ahead of you.
I was her target up to until about two days ago, when a new girl came to school. She seemed nice, so I felt bad for her when she became Courtney’s new target. I also wanted to thank her, but that would have seemed really mean.
Courtney isn’t the only one who bully’s kids. She has a sort of click. There are five girls in it; Kendall Braftey; Courtney’s right hand girl. Caitlin Shelton; the spy. Tammy Talahan; the messenger. Lily Valentine; pretty much just the servant. And Cammie Clinton; she just wants in, she’s like a puppy that gets kicked around but still comes back.
I had been trying to avoid Kelly Clark, the new girl, and any of the click. But now, I was right in the middle of a torture scene. I couldn’t just walk out, I was a witness, and if I tried to leave now, I would be shut up hard. I also had missed all the normal buses and was probably going to miss the after school ones too.
I tried to re-position myself so my knees wouldn’t lock, but my foot slipped and made a loud squeaking noise on the toilet seat. I froze. Courtney couldn’t have missed that.
“Sounds like there’s a spy in there.” Courtney’s voice sounded like those really evil villains on those little kid shows you see on TV. I started to shake. Hard. What do I do know?! I thought. I heard the sound of fingers snapping. Lily Valentine quickly slid under the bathroom door. She got up and looked at me with a look that almost convinced me she was sorry for all of this. She then turned toward the door, unlocked it, and held it open. Tammy came over to me and curled her bony fingers around my wrist. OW! I wanted to say. She pulled my out and placed me right next to Kelly. Now we were both in the line of fire.
“So Sam, is it?” Courtney said. No, its Connie, you weren’t even close. But who cares anyway. “I can’t have you two go telling everyone what happened in here, and there’s no point in trying to lie, so..” Courtney paused and put one hand on her hip and the other on her chin with her finger tapping her mouth. “Ugh, I just hate it when people mess up my plans. You two will have to keep your mouths shut. But how should I make sure you-” The door slammed open and in walked Carly, my best friend and only friend, along with the principle and Mrs. Kenton, our English teacher.
“I told you, I told you! I told you they were in here bullying her!” Carly said. I looked from Carly to Courtney. She looked dumbstruck. I couldn’t help but giggle under my breath. I had never seen her with her mouth hanging open like that. Kendall reached up to shut Courtney’s mouth but Courtney slapped her hand back down. “What is going on in here?!” Mr. Varson, our principal said. Kelly blurted out everything. And I mean everything. And boy was she right. After she was done. Mr. Varson looked at me. “Connie tell me the truth, I know you well, is Kelly telling the truth?” “Ye-yes… yes s-sir.” My voice was shaking harder than I was. Carly through her long arms around me. “I knew you were stuck here when you didn’t show up for our sleep over!” She whispered to me. For once I was glad she was so nosy.
Mr. Varson led Courtney and her click to his office. They stumbled along like they had just all seen an alien from mars.
Mrs. Kenton called our parents to come pick us up, and then promised us this would never happen again. Carly stuck to me like glue, while Kelly slumped down in an empty chair. I walked over to her and sat down next to her.
“Are you all right?” I said.
“I think I will be.” She quietly answered.
“Would you like to hang out with Carly and I?” I asked her. Kelly looked up at me and her face cracked into a wide grin.
“For real? Like I would be your friend?” She asked.
“Sure.” I smiled at her. I decided it was time for me to do something.

Tell Sara how you responded to her story in a comment. Then YOU take a turn. Thank you for sharing your talent with us, Sara.

Blessings, Nancy Rue, the Eldest Elder


When Boys Are Mean

madisons camera october 9 037 (2) m and boys sepiaHello, Tribelet! Happy Wednesday. This has become about my fave day of the week because I get to come here and find out what’s going on with you and maybe give you some help with bullying and  tough situations with friends.

Last week you saw our very first Mini-Video for Mini-Women in which the Tribelet Elders and I address the questions YOU send us. Melody and I  talked about what to do when you’re invited to bully — and how tempting it is when the bullying is on somebody who has been super mean to YOU in the past.

SO glad you liked it, Tribelet — and even more glad that HALLE BELLE, KAYLEE, and ADIE are trying the crumpled paper reminder. (If you missed that, see last week’s post)

In addition to giving each of them 5 more points, I want to comment on what KAYLEE said. She “confessed” (and I’m glad, Kaylee, that you feel safe enough here to tell us this stuff) that she had her wadded up piece of paper, but she forgot about it until after she’d already “messed up.”  Let me say this about that, Kaylee, and everybody:

                         * Who among us has NOT messed up, especially when you’re trying a new

                                way of behaving? Didn’t you make a lot of mistakes when you first

                                 started learning fractions?

                         * It’s not the mistake that counts. It’s what you do about it. KAYLEE says

                             she’s going to keep trying. That’s what I’m talkin’ about.

THIS week we’re going to move on to a topic that has actually come up on Tween You and Me, and that’s boys. Things have changed with them, haven’t they? When you were a preschooler, you probably had some pals who were boys, like Maeryn and her cousins in the pic above. But ten bucks says in a couple of years, they’ll think she has lice and she’ll think they’re from Planet Weirdo. No one knows why that happens. It just does. boy bullies

And then you get to be in fifth or sixth grade and some of those absurd little creeps aren’t so absurd and creepy anymore. In a couple of weeks we’re going to talk about the normal boy stuff. HERE, we’re going to take a look at what to do when boys are outright MEAN.

So let’s do this. Watch the video by clicking here. Then tell us what you think. Do you have any issues with boys being ugly in the way they treat you or other people. Share them with us, and next week we’ll go even deeper into that subject.

Meanwhile, enjoy the show!

Nancy Rue, the Eldest of the Elders!



A Mini-Video For You! “When You’re Invited to Bully”

Meet the EldersHello, Tribelet! So sorry about last week. Talk about your technical difficulties. That’s why I have the Tribelet Elders — Sarah, Melody, Paige and Melle to help me: because I’m SO techno challenged! Finally, though, we have the first of 12 mini-videos made especially for you, Tribelet, based on the questions YOU ask us.  Today’s video is based on EVE’s question, about being invited to join in with bullying.

You can watch the video by simply clicking here. After you’ve seen it, come back and let’s talk.

Pretty cool, huh? You can also feel free to comment on the video and share it with other people.

Now, about this topic of being asked to join in with mean treatment of somebody. OBVIOUSLY if somebody said to you: “Hey, we’re gonna beat Katie up after church. Are you in?” you would not only say, “Uh, NO-O!”, you’d probably do an immediate Report Alert and get some grown-ups on the scene. I mean, hellooo!

reportalertBut a invitation to be not-so-nice can sneak up on you. It might sound something like this: “Katie isn’t into the same kind of stuff we are. She’s kind of immature, you know? Let’s just ignore her and maybe she’ll go away.” You don’t want to hurt her, but you always like hanging out with your usual friends so … maybe you’ll just ignore her for now and then go back and apologize later.

You COULD do that, but once you crumple Katie like a piece of paper — well, even after you try to smooth her out with an apology, she’s always going to have those wrinkles of hurt.

If you want to earn 5 points this week, keep a small piece of wadded up paper in your pocket, backpack, purse or someplace close by in your house as a reminder that                                                                                               what you do or say could wad somebody up. Whether you have a chance to use it to stop yourself or not, report in and earn some points.            crumpled paper

Let’s not be the mini-women who have to go back and try to smooth things over. What do you say? Are you in?


Nancy Rue, the Eldest of the Elders  

Thanks For Being Patient!

caricature of signingHello, Tribelet. So sorry about not having a post for you today. We’re trying to get a video up that we made for you — answering EVE’s question — but I’m sort of challenged in that area, so … it could be a day or two. In the meantime, keep being your Super Power selves!

Blessings, Nancy Rue, the Eldest of the Elders!